Andy, you are going to be a great person in future!
“Andy, you are going to be a great person in future!”
Growing up, my bedtime routine was my mother abruptly interrupting our late-night activities with the same song. Within minutes, about 20 disgruntled siblings, cousins and friends would congregate in the living room for a devotion. Maa will sit on the carpet and share deep gems from God's Word followed by an impassioned worship and prayer. Of course, at that time we could less what gems she had to share. We were more concerned about the movie or the scrabble match she just interrupted. Come to find out, in those final hours of the day, she was leaving vivid and authentic memories of how to relate to God. In essence, God used those nights to shape our spiritual lives.
Charles Stanley, the famous American Bible teacher took the bedtime routine a step further. His son Andy, recalls his father kneeling on the floor in his room praying for him and his siblings. After prayer, Charles Stanley will rest his hand on young Andy and with a deep, soft southern accent, say "Andy you are going to be a great person in future!"
Every night, his father will go through the same ritual, and repeat the same words, "Andy, you are going to be a great person in future!"
Well, Andy grew up, stepped away from his father's church, and started a new church 30 miles North of Atlanta. As of today, Andy Stanley has the largest Sunday Church attendance in America, he has written over 30 transformational books, raised three successful children, and beautifully married to his wife for over 30 years. Personally, God has used Andy Stanley to transform my faith, life and ministry! Andy Stanley, in a very quite way, has changed the landscape of Christianity in America, especially as it relates to the Church's outreach to the unchurched and unsaved.
Certainly, Andy's success in life and ministry can be to attributed to several factors, however, that simple bedtime routine was a powerful guiding voice in his life.
For most parents, there are no bedtime routines. Others are, "ok guys, time to sleep." In most homes, they read a book, and say their prayers. Some parents walk into the child’s room to say a quick prayer and a goodnight kiss.
But the truth is, the bedtime provides an incredible opportunity to connect with children. Parents who know this, seize the opportunity.
Looking at Charles Stanley and my mother, the common thread is being present. Not showing up, but being present. They expressed this by their body posture. No standing at the door and no standing at all. Sit on a chair, or at least sit on a bed. Ideally, lay on the floor if possible or go on your knees with the child. This communicates you are not in a hurry.
Now, you can read a story, read the Bible, share a devotional, followed by a discussion. This will usually be followed by a prayer from the parent, child or both.
Then comes the icing on the cake; hug, kiss and affirm the child or each child. To affirm means you are saying something positive about the child or the child's future.
Examples;
1. You are going to be a great person in future.
2. God bless you my love, God is going to use you in future to bless people.
3. I love you Babe; you are a going to be a great leader in your generation.
4. Have a good night my love, you will change the world some day!
5. Thank you for being so helpful today, you are such a blessing!
The affirmations accomplish two things. The parent gets to speak prophetically into the child's life. Secondly, the child gets to know directly what the parent’s thoughts are concerning them. This is so powerful.
The child becomes secured in your perception of them! In other words, every night, regardless of what transpired in the day, the child is reassured of who they are to you. Essentially, the bedtime routine gives the parent an opportunity to establish him or herself as the north star in the child's life.
This connection moment has a palpable effect on the child's behavior, but more than anything, it has a lifetime effect on the child.
Now you might not have another Andy Stanley, but certainly, a meaningful nightly routine can produce confident, well-rounded and Grace-filled children, who will transform their generation in countless ways!
God richly bless you! See you on Friday as we discuss how to use communication to connect with our children.
Have an awesome day!
Samuel Antwi-Boasiako,MD
Grace-filled Parenting Series!
The Grace Movement
